While there are many factors that led me to where I am now, none may be as important as the choice I made to truthfully open myself up to cross-examination and a concerted effort to come up with some life goals, and a way to reach them.
Facing Myself
Some may simply call it “Taking a hard look at yourself.” I call it believing in yourself and trusting yourself. Easy to say, sometimes not so easy to do – at first.
In the fall of 2005, I realized that, despite all the blessings I had in my life, things were out of balance. Not terrible – just not right. And that gnawing feeling had been around for a while. But what was wrong? My two girls were healthy, Kurt and I lived in our dream home in the mountains, I had successfully trained to be an EMT, and a volunteer firefighter – there was much good happening. Nothing was terrible. But I felt, deep inside, that whatever feelings of uneasiness I had about my life needed to be dealt with.
How did I do it? I was smart and sought the counsel of my wonderful husband, Kurt, who made sure I knew he supported me and wanted me to be as happy and healthy as possible. I considered the advice of friends who really were thoughtful about their opinions of me and what I might be after in life. And, even though I’d never before had one, I spent time with a life coach – a woman named Dawn Gelderloos – who found ways to help me bring out my many thoughts and emotions related to my life, my family, and my personal goals. It was this process of self-examination that led me to an awesome conclusion – I wanted to be a competitive triathlete, in addition to being a dedicated mom and wife. My family would come first, but there may be a way for me to be a dedicated athlete as well. I remembered a goal I’d had since I was much younger – to be an athlete capable of reaching the Olympics. I’d trained hard throughout my 20’s but it was more about getting fit and the friendships than racing fast. I had unfinished business in the triathlon world and now it was an Olympic sport.
Downsizing and other Changes
So, at the point of acknowledging the fact that I had the desire to be a competitive athlete once again, it also meant realizing that many of the things Kurt, the girls and I had may have to change in order for this dream to become a reality. But would Kurt support the idea, even if it meant him having to make changes? What if we had to move off of “The Mountain” and into a more modest home so that we could afford to have me train the way I should, and allow Kurt to spend more time with the girls? Could we do it?
Those questions, and a lot more related concerns had to be dealt with. And you know what? Once Kurt and I envisioned our lives as being simpler, financially less stressful, and focused on two things – our family and triathlon training – the rest of the changes, though big, were not all that hard! Yes, selling our beautiful home outside of Boulder was a bit tough. Kurt and I had spent years creating our perfect mountain getaway.
The tradeoff – a very small, but cozy house in Boulder – is much more modest. But the smaller house means smaller debt, and some more freedom for Kurt to spend less time working at the office and more time with us, and it means more freedom for me to train for triathlon competitions, and someday, possibly, the Olym____!!
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